Covetousness/jealousy/envy is driving me insane. I don't WANT to be jealous of everybody. I'm BEGGING God to deliver me into contentment and fulfillment and satisfaction instead, but everywhere I turn or think, all I see is 100% all other people (especially the Church) able to be happy when I am not because of a certain disability that I suffer from which prevents me from participating in the enjoyment of a godly blessing that 100% of the rest of the church gets to freely enjoy..... And it's just making me downright crazy. I hate satan. I hate the devil, I hate the devil, I hate the devil, I hate the devil!!!!!! I'm not just sorry for coveting, I can't STAND being covetous. I just want to be free from the wretched monster!!!!!